I can't sleep. And it is because I'm in love!!
With who you say? A cute boy, Dan Carter maybe? Nope... He is actually quite old...and wise...
Aproximately 2011 years old. Tall, brown skin, deep eyes, beard....
His name is Jesus.
For the past couple of weeks now I have been having trouble getting to sleep and I thought it was due to an increased coffee consumtion due to increased amount of catch ups over coffees the past while, but I realised tonight, it was Jesus knocking on the door of my heart saying "let me in, my beloved". I just hadn't opened up the door til tonight.
So, I grabbed my journal and went for it, prayed out my true heart and feelings towards God, concerns, worries, everything and lied there and asked for his presence... And I got it. I felt him in my heart, like that feeling of being in love but more overwhelming. I had soft tears, not those tears of despair, but tears of "Daddy I love you!"
Funny thing is, I have spent the past week freaking out about moving, money stuff involved with that, assignments and other things and now have just realised it is now Friday and everything has come together and I don't need to worry cause Daddy has it under control. I am sitting here now, thinking wow, I couldn't have worked everything all out better myself, I am glad I have given it all to you!
He said to me in my Spirit that he wants to take me to a new place, that it is going to be different to what I already know of him. And that it is a new season.
That stirred in me excitement and freaked out-ness...But, I will not allow the scaredness to dictate my actions. I will walk in faith.
Tonight is my last night at home with my parents (at least for this season, it's not as if I am getting married tomorrow! So I will probaly move back in at some stage...) so I am a bit nervous about moving out, with not being exactly the richest person in the world it is a bit of a faith step and with Zeal and all this other exciting stuff going I feel like there is so much going on that moving is just stupid and doesn't make any logical sence... but then neither do miracles. Jesus isn't logical to be honest. And I feel like I am stepping in the right direction with all of it so I just have to trust in God he has it all sussed out! Living by faith!!
A couple of months ago I spoke at FITE Youth about Luke 9 and the story of the disciples wanting to follow Jesus and how they had to be prepared to leave things behind, not look back etc and all of which required faith in Jesus that it was the right thing to do, and it is like I am now having to live out this message I preached!
Anyway this blog probaly makes no logical sence, I am surviving off about 4-5hours sleep and 2 coffees today.
I pray God's overwhelming love over your spirit...
Amen and God Bless!
